Since I’ve already talked about Sarah twice it just feels right to end of this week with her.
If you didn’t read the first two about Sarah go read them. If you did then I suspect you see just as I do that Sarah is the best kind of quirky. Sarah is one of those people who push you to be the best version of yourself.
A few months back we were getting a new washing machine. We were getting a new one because our old one was broken. Broken and sitting in our basement taking up space. It needed to go.
I thought it was an at some point kind of thing.
Sarah thought it was a right this moment kind of thing.
“Just go ask one of the neighbour to help you lift it out.”
I hate doing that. I don’t like bugging people to help with this kind of stuff. It’s not an opinion or advice, it’s a load of heavy lifting. But I went out and knocked on some doors, no one home. I was in the clear. No need to make an uncomfortable ask.
“What about the guy across the street?”
Context: I meet him for the first time the day before. He worked abroad and homes for only a few days a year.
Of course he’d want to do heavy lifting.
Lucky for me he wasn’t there.
But this idea of community isn’t common anymore. It’s not just the norm that neighbours help neighbours. It’s not just expected that people who live next to each other will connect.
But that’s how Sarah sees community. That’s how she sees the world. She is always willing to go out of her way for people and has no problem asking for help. It’s one of the ways we got to know our neighbours the best. We’ve had some really great neighbours who would watch our son or help us shovel snow. But it happened because we asked, because when Sarah looks at community she sees people willing to do things for each other.
Sarah’s view on this does two really cool things.
The first is creating opportunities for deeper connection. It’s just more chances to talk and connect. Like the time that my neighbour and I cleaned our shared drain pipe at the front of our house. It took like 10 minutes but then we shared a few beers and sat outside for over an hour.
It’s drawing people into your life and creating space to connect in a way that feels way less creepy then saying “we don’t talk much, tell me something deeply personal so we can be close.”
It gives space for relationship to grow and allow for the time when something deeply personal can be shared organically.
The second thing is does is it shows trust. Trust is so important in a relationship and your implicitly saying “I trust you” when you invite someone into your home or ask them to watch your kids.
It takes trust to ask for help.
So go bug your neighbour. Ask them to give you hand with something. Then when their done share a coffee, beer, pizza, ice cream, etc. Worry less about imposing and more about connecting.