It wasn’t going to be fair.
Well I suppose it had the potential to not be fair.
I was out with my volleyball team after our game. We had gone out the week prior and got the split of the bill wrong. Nothing big, I needed to have left another $3 or $4. Instead of giving over the money this week I just covered the beer of the guy I owed the money too.
If you don’t drink you may not be aware that $3 does not get you a beer.
He said, like most would “Thanks, I got it next time.”
It all worked out. I was short her covered. I pay more this week and next time he’ll make up the difference.
But what if it doesn’t happen?
Or if next week he gets drinks, then I get drinks, then he gets drinks, then I get drinks, then our season is over. When will I get back the drinks I’m owed?
Because my mind does crazy things like that process I just described I need to be intentional. This week I suggested you be generous once a day. I suggested you try to pick someone who hasn’t earned it. This case isn’t’ a great example because I actually owed him money.
But it shows why I need intentionality.
Without it my mind wanders in to fairness.
Without a decision to just be generous I start to think about how fair or unfair what I’m doing might be. I start to worry that he may not follow through next week or that I’ll end up on the short end of the deal at the end.
I start to think about me.
Maybe you’re not the same. Maybe you’re really good a just keeping others first.
I find it so easy to just slip back to me getting what I need. Me getting what I think I have earned or deserve.
So what do I do?
I should probably just buy again next time. I should just stop thinking about me getting what I deserve and being the generous person I keep telling you I want to be.
But the idea is the easy part. The hard part comes when I need to put down more money next week while my mind tells me I’m actually owed something.